self-afflicted

TRIGGER WARNING: THEMES OF EMOTIONAL ABUSE ARE EXPLORED

I sit here now, pen in hand, trying to make sense of the whirlwind that has been my love life. A tale of twisted romance, of passion veiled in toxicity, and of attachments formed with partners who leave scars deeper than any physical wound.

(Tool: deepai.org | Prompt: bisexual heart and toxic waste abusive love)

It began innocently enough, with a chance encounter at a crowded bar. His name was Jack, and from the moment our eyes met, I was spellbound. He swept me off my feet with his charming smile and magnetic personality, and for a while, it felt like we were living in a fairytale.

But as the weeks turned into months, I began to see the cracks in Jack's facade—the possessiveness, the jealousy, the need to control every aspect of my life. He would lash out at me over the smallest things, accusing me of flirting with other men or spending too much time with my friends. And yet, I found myself making excuses for his behaviour, convincing myself that he was just insecure and that he would change if I loved him enough.

Then there was Claire, with her angelic face and devilish temper. She would shower me with affection one moment, only to tear me down with her cutting words the next. She belittled my achievements, mocked my dreams, and made me feel small and insignificant. And yet, I clung to her like a lifeline, desperate for the love and approval that always seemed just out of reach.

And so, I found myself trapped in a cycle of toxic love, unable to break free from the chains that bound me to partners who brought nothing but pain and misery into my life. Micheal, Liam, Sophia, James, Olivia, I would lie awake at night, wondering what it was within me that attracted me to these destructive partners—was it a subconscious desire for chaotic energy, a need to feel needed even at the expense of my own well-being?

As I sit here now, filing a police report against the abuse I endured, I know that I am taking the first step towards reclaiming my life and my sense of self-worth. It's not easy. Finding the strength to break free from the cycle, to reclaim my sense of self-worth and follow through on promises I've made to myself to rediscover the love and happiness that has eluded me for so long.

I am stronger and wiser for having survived the storm.

Authors note:

Hi, my name shall remain a mystery till the end of time, and it's a pleasure to have you read my stuffs. I’m an artist investigating the potential of generative AI to improve writing and readability and in all my works I use a combination of my writing + ChatGPT #fortheplot.

The writing in Black is everything AI generated and the bits in orange are my edits.

This piece is inspired by an excerpt from writing by Grace Jazmin Asiroh titled "Ache"

You can learn more about her on X @JazzAsiroh or email jazminasiro7@gmail.com and check out her blog Jazzasiroh7.blogspot.com

And you can buy her book along with other short stories by various Kenyan authors here http://qwani.co.ke/

Here are the prompts I used:

First try:

Write a story that uses the phrase

"the kind of attachment I foster"

from the work Ache by Grace Jazmin Asiroh. The story should be about someone who tends to form attachments with partners that have unhealthy loving styles for example, they use overwhelming intensity in their love bombing, they are possessive and jealous, manipulative, they like to isolate their partner from friends and family, sabotaging their reputation or achievements, they belittle them, guilt trips them, has volatile reactions that can seem unpredictable, deflecting responsibility and betrayal. The protagonist wonders what is it within themselves that makes them build form and grow attachments to partners with these traits

Second try:

write the story in first person, and make it so that they're recounting an event where all of these experiences are present

Third try:

Make it so that they're recounting the story as they're filing a police report for the abuse they've experienced

Alternative AI-generated images:

(Tool: deepai.org | Prompt: heart afflicted by terrible choices in love)

(Tool: deepai.org | Prompt: pealing heart and toxic waste abusive love)

Analysis of challenges:

ChatGPT	DeepAI
Making the story style similar to previous writing styles	Some results were downright terrifying
an insistence in writing in third person	I ran out of free credits for the programme